This Just hasn't been My week,
Whether it's the horrible doctors appointment That I had, Or the way my families been Acting. The energy around me has Just been awful. I've Been trying so damn hard to be happy and to stay true to myself, but with everything that's been going on around me keeping a strait face With a smile hasn't Been an easy task. I usually fight back when It comes to my dad but because that never gets me anywhere but in more deep shit that I started with I've kept my Mouth shut and let me take Out whateverhas been bothering Him on me which isn't fair to myself,my mom or the people around me but whatever. Sure somethings wrong But when I'm having a bad day I don't go making everyone else feel Awful because I do. And I know everyone copes with things differently but this isn't cool I'm sick of having to deal with his issues when I have my own to deal with.
i Love this man to death but i cant stand him this month. I've got enough crap on my Plate I have my band promotion Job Yes Job I'm working it's not like I sit on the computer all day doing nothing I'm sitting there doing promo. I've been trying So hard to juggle everything But I'm No cLown i can't juggle I can't
Fake that smile I can't Go out in the crowd and make everyone laugh regardless of what feelings they came in with. I focus to much on other people this is a well known Fact But they never really focus to much on me it's always them them them they're problems they're Life there feelings But when I send out warning signs and signals Nothing None of them
Notice awesome how awesome is that, my friends are amazing at times but this is bullshit. i was looking Forward to going to the Beach, feeling the Water,taking pictures, Being happy for awhile, having a nice family day with no drama no Bad mo jo Jo ha, mojo no nothing yeah that worked out didn't it. I ended up home alone screaming and shouting at something that wasn't there Hoping they'd talk back because all I wanted to Do was talk to my friends but how could I My Internet was un plugged with the door locked. I'm Just Glad I stopped myself from reaching for something highly stupid this time. I won't go in to that Because that's one thing I'd Like to keep to myself in all of this but I will say I'm really Not okay. (well I wasn't I'm fine now I can promise you that) I want you to know that no matter how hard I fall, no matter how tall or small I get I'll be okay in the end. I won't go running off to find ways to die. And I won't go off doing stupid things a normal messed up teenager like myself would do. Or what you'd expect them to do I guess I should Say. all I can do is hope for better days.
i'm doing fine again, i was at a rough patch in life at this time but i fought my way out of it.
