I have never ending tendencies to save people who simply do not wish to be saved.

 I spent the past week screaming WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP at my phone…. doubting you’ll ever be back. You always prove me wrong and show up just when I need you. Well now I need you more than ever and I’m scared you really won’t be back this time. I thought that last night, and I’ll think it again everytime until you prove to me that it’s not me. And that I can be loved. You’re different and that’s scary. Because everytime I catch myself saying this, they turn out exactly how I swore they never would.

It’s an un wanted never ending shit cycle. But I’ll be damned if I loose you. I didn’t ask for this, but I should’ve known what I was getting myself into with you. I don’t care how broken I already am, I will give you all I have until you’re okay. I’ll stare at my phone all day, I’ll even pray. That you’ll come back and that you’ll be ok.

You showed me I could be loved, and I fell for you. I still think you’re amazing. And I want you in my life even if it means I never sleep or that I’m only happy when you’re around. Because I rather little than nothing at all. And I rather feel too much than go back to being so numb.
 Wow I’m dumb. But I couldn’t have asked for a better person to talk to. I can be myself and I can learn to feel. how to deal, how to pretend I'm real..

My past tells me you’re too good to be true, 
But the hope left in me has made me stick to you like glue,
it’s only been a day and I don’t know what the hell to do, 
I’m under your spell,
I hope you can’t tell,
But I've already fallen for your smile
And I hope that you stick around for awhile,
But I know that you won’t,
So I tell myself please Cheyenne DON’T. 
Don’t put your heart on the line, 
Don’t get lost in him like you do every time,
 you’re nothing more to him than another dime, 
jingle jangling in his pocket,
 lost amongst all the others in his collection, 
you can’t do this you need protection. 
But the hope says no, 
the hope says open. 
But the past says stay closed. 
Who does one listen too when so exposed? 
God wouldn't tell me if he knows. 
Guess that’s just how this life thing goes.