I have never ending tendencies to save people who simply do not wish to be saved.

 I spent the past week screaming WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP at my phone…. doubting you’ll ever be back. You always prove me wrong and show up just when I need you. Well now I need you more than ever and I’m scared you really won’t be back this time. I thought that last night, and I’ll think it again everytime until you prove to me that it’s not me. And that I can be loved. You’re different and that’s scary. Because everytime I catch myself saying this, they turn out exactly how I swore they never would.

It’s an un wanted never ending shit cycle. But I’ll be damned if I loose you. I didn’t ask for this, but I should’ve known what I was getting myself into with you. I don’t care how broken I already am, I will give you all I have until you’re okay. I’ll stare at my phone all day, I’ll even pray. That you’ll come back and that you’ll be ok.

You showed me I could be loved, and I fell for you. I still think you’re amazing. And I want you in my life even if it means I never sleep or that I’m only happy when you’re around. Because I rather little than nothing at all. And I rather feel too much than go back to being so numb.
 Wow I’m dumb. But I couldn’t have asked for a better person to talk to. I can be myself and I can learn to feel. how to deal, how to pretend I'm real..