I am not my sisters, but please excuse me while i sit here comparing myself to them anyway.
everyone has always said me and my sisters were heaven, hell, and undetermined. Does this make me forever stuck between good and evil? forever being undetermined of which roads to go down and which steps to take..?
in this life i can take the so called "hard way" like the one sister or i can take the " easy way" like the other. BUT WHAT IF I WANT TO TAKE MY OWN DAMN WAY!? what if i want my own paths both easy and hard making this life MY life and not theirs? Because after-all that's the way it should be right.
Let's get one thing strait, i flat out refuse to end up in the dental feild so that alone keeps me from being like either of my sisters in the career point of this. But that still leaves us with all the other points of life like relationship or
"ships" persay because let's face it Cheyenne You're not her and you will not be with this guy forever sure it worked out like that for her but that sure as hell doesn't mean it'll work out like that for you too. she has the perfect guy, the perfect life even.
and then the other sister.. stuck with the guy everybody hated stuck with the guy who's no good, stuck with the guy who did nothing for her i could go on but let's not get carried away with that side of things as it just adds to my paranoia of this guy I've let into my life... who will he be? Will he turn out to be the guy that does nothing but drags me down and ruins my life yet i can't shake him so he sticks around for years until i finally say enoughs enough and move on... Or his he the guy who ends up being the so called
"one" if that even exists anymore..
You see through writing all of this i've gotten nowhere.. and here's my damn problem I know i'm not my sisters and never will be them but why can't i stop comparing myself my life and my realtionship to them and theirs? UUuuuuuugghhhhlfd.,fdmlkhclkushgfliwuejfgfausidfilusgfkgfreuigfvsfsau <-- yep that about sums up my feelings. just dlkwifhlskhflui. I JUST wish i could know all the shit's worth it that that that.. he's worth it i mean when i think about it sure she went through some shit but look at her now? she's fine and happy and that's all i want in my life to someday figure everything out and to be at a place of happieness.. i'll get there someday if i can get past of well the past.
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