I think that’s very common to a lot of us.

To find ourselves putting question marks where God has put periods. I know I’ve struggled with this quite a lot But lately it's intensified and it’s so frustrating because logically I know that God ended things for a reason, but my heart can become so dependent/reliant/attached that I sort of push God’s voice away and try and justify these feelings and actions. 

It’s so difficult because to go through periods of feeling okay without the person, but then  remember things about them and it’s like God’s voice is less prominent and just dwell and dwell on “why.” It’s like this void has opened up and that feeling of being ‘unable to bare’ life without them is overwhelming. I couldn't help but be selfish and  think these thoughts and feelings were brought back to me For the reason I wanted.

 "Maybe Time was needed away from each other to grow"

" Maybe this time things could be different.".... No 

These thoughts are multiplying because you continue to have a refusal to give up control and let God take over your life completely. In the times you did not falter you were blessed with so many great new beginnings, So many better memories, Surrounded by people who would strengthen yourself and your relationship with him. Fear not, With a heart like yours it will over feel. Which leads to moments like these. It's okay to stray, And doubt. So long as you never let go of what you know. 

Take more time to Focus on God’s promises, and the unfathomable love He has shown you. I think this will help to remind  that letting go of the things God calls us to let go will be difficult, but not impossible, and that letting go of those things can bring myself closer to God Himself. He is always with me. Even when it may not feel like it. 

Despite the pain and the heartache often involved with these things - we know God has a better plan and a better way. We know that choosing God is never wrong 

Please remember that ‘time heals all wounds.’ Slowly, as you begin to lean on God more and fill that void with hope in Him, the heartbreak won’t be so devastating and the memory itself could potentially turn from a sad one to a hopeful one because it could be a time you turned to God and  time you accepted His refuge and a time you grew with Him! 

No man is an island. You are not deserted or alone. God has placed such amazing people in your life all because you let the others go. Don't go back on that. Let go. Remember this is just one of those nights. But tomorrow is a new day, To wake up refreshed and ready to take on the world. He has given you the things you needed to finally FINALLY let go. Don't let yourself try and hold onto something toxic just because you miss not being alone. Move forward. If you keep bringing negative baggage from yesterday into today, it will poison your future. You may have had an unfair past, but you don’t have to have an unfair future. You may have gotten off to a rough start in life, but it’s not how you start that matters. It’s how you finish.