I just wanted to apologize to everyone. Not that anyone knows about this blog or reads it but
I know I have not been myself lately. Some of you may say I have changed, and I have seen it in myself as well. I’m not the Cheyenne I once knew, and I’m really afraid to admit that. My depression has been really bad for the past 2-3 months, and because I am sad all of the time, I take it out on others and it affects my daily life. My friends, my family, everyone around me notice a HUGE change in my life, and I don’t know what to do, but I’m trying to make it better. I have been a HUGE bitch lately, when this is not me. This is not who I am. I am a very nice, sweet, caring, non-judgemental, and most of all loving girl, and these last few months, she got lost. But she’s trying to find her way back again. I promise I will make things better, for all of us. i haven't slept in over 24 hours.... this is OdD not only that but i'm just now getting shaky i could easily keep writing and stay up late enough to sleep through the night but seeing how my eyes are getting blurry that might not be such s possible or smart idea haha i stayed up thinking to much a once like i always do. and i also made a pretty cool video for self harm awareness day i can post the link if anyone see's this and ends up wanting to watch it anywhoo. i've been drinking tons of water and juice lately i'm eating somewhat better and less than i was (not that i ate before anyway seriously i watch diet shows with these people eating like five cheese burgers and fries at once yeah of coarse that's why they're fat but me? }why me dude? i don't eat that much i try and pay my dues i put others before myself i'd bend over backwards doing flips for someone before i'd help myself which is something I'm also going to work on because i'm getting to be to much of a push over filled with guilt. anyway back to the whole body thing. i've been working out like crazy i'm actually kind of addicted to it. if i don't at least stretch i start feeling like crap all day i've lost 5.5 pounds so far(: and i'd like to loose 15 more before april 19th not sure about that goal though... my face is finally clearing up even though i can't stop picking at it/: i'm definitely getting back on the right track to finding myself again. so again.

 I’m deeply sorry.
i'm just really lonely but in the end maybe i need this loneliness to work on myself..? maybe theres a reason why i've been like this i don't know of this reason yet but i'm sure
i'll find it eventually in the mean time netflix and birthday party plans it is... goodbye ghost readers~!