I don't care how lucky i am and how great and easy my life is. I shouldn't be forced to watch YOUR child. It's my mothers job. and your job as a mother. NOT MINE. it isn't fair to be to have to sit and do nothing for 8 hours. I got to stay home tonight instead of going to my sisters. But i have to be up at 7 and i have to deal with my grandmother and that damn house full of dead memories. I fucking hate it. I WAS HAPPY in a weird mood BUT HAPPY. and you ruined it. You act like i can't handle a child for 8 hours. she is my life of course i can handle it. CAN'T I? i can't handle my own damn life but i know i can handle hers.
i sleep all day at your house to avoid it. i hate it there. and i can't handle dealing with it so i avoid responsibility and sleep. I WANT TO ACTUALLY WATCH THE CHILD.
And be the aunt i'm supposed to be and i fucking can't. i'm too broken and unhappy to give her the attention and love she deserves while being watched. But instead of trying i just sleep. honestly not my fault sleeping is how i cope. sleeping is all i do with my life anymore. Think, do nothing about said thinking, then sleep.
In fact i'm off to nap because fuck you.
Ps this weekend was fantastic and i am greatful, but i don't owe my sister shit. I owe my parents and i guess i have to suck it up and do this. there's no other options.
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