Or so i thought. But then it hit me that everything i want still isn't reac - uh i forgot what i was typing here... I started ranting on the phone to My red panda about stupid things i was pouting about.
Today was stressful and crazy but i was happy for the most of it. I'm stuck on a roller coaster too many ups and downs and twists and just ugh.
I get that the path won't ever be strait and narrow but can't i catch a little bit of a break before a curve hits again!?... I just want a solid day of happiness... Just one.. i mean more than a few would be nice but one to start at least... but nooooooo Life refuses to give me that. I'm sorry i have a good life and a good family when my boyfriend doesn't who's to say our lives won't be better when we're older... I'll be spoiled and happy someday just you wait and see... I'm sorry that you can't see him how i do, i'm sorry you can't understand him like i can., I'M SORRY you think he treats me soooo badly just because i let things slip one night out of pure rage and well I WAS PMSING you should have left me the eeefff alone like i asked. but you insisted on coming in and bugging me when for once i seriously just wanted to be alone... well that and i wanted Anthony to make things better which was silly of me to think because he was the one creating the problems. Well actually he wasn't the one creating the problems really the bitches were... as always THEY DON'T QUIT THEY'RE RELENTLESS I SWEAR. they just won't leave him and us be... good lawd just let us be happy K!? i'm sorry you fucked him over and he no longer wants you back.... he's mine now get to steppin. He actually fixes every problem with that, that i've ever had.... he stops it... but of course it never lasts very long... I'm over it... but i'm hoping it's over... I did however get out of the horrible leave me here to die funk i was in... So that's an improvement... I've been waking up, going to work, keeping my mind off of things blah blah, drove today... Freaked out the whole time but i still did it... wooo~!! I'm getting way to stressed out lately though.. i just need to realize that whatevers gonna happen is gonna happen and i can't change the facts. i want too but i can't. Maybe they'll never like him... Maybe something bad will happen when i'm working.. Maybe the beach trips and my summer will suck... The list goes on... And,
Now there's so many other things i'd add to this but i can no longer keep my eyes open so i shall end here save and publish the post close my laptop and let my dreams take over. Hoping the nightmares stay away tonight... I'd like some good dreams to make up for the stress and depression.... chyster Out.
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