Moving on is something i've never seen myself capable of doing. But it's something that must be done. It's a part of life. People come and go, people suck, people hurt, blah blah boohoohoo. I've gotta pick up the damn pieces and get over it. I can't spend everyday thinking, Over thinking about things that only hold me back and weigh me down. Sure it's going to take time and it's going to be hard. But that's how everything is. I'm constantly fighting myself on what to do. I want you so badly still, Even after being hurt, Even after knowing i'll never get you... How does one move on and forget someone who meant so much? even if there's pain and hurt involved....
Time doesn't stop for anyone, and i'm dumb to sit here thinking i can wait months and months for your return expecting everything to be fine again. Because IT WON'T BE. i'm not what he wants, and i hardly ever was what he wanted. So why sit here wanting to change the facts when i know i can't. It all feels like a dream, that went horribly wrong and turned into a nightmare. Honestly i'll never understand how a guy like you feel into my lap. Nor will i understand how it all fell apart. I knew, I knew what i was getting myself into when i signed up for falling in love. But what i didn't know was how much of you would still be hidden away. I worked so hard getting you to open up to me. And in the end it all came crashing down on me. So much it slowly in the process of making you smile, I lost mine. I lost everything even myself. I was but a lost girl when you found me.... but oh how i've worsened. I only wish i could blame it all on you. But in reality it's all me right? Cause that's how i see it, How i'll always see it.
Not good enough, Not the one you wanted, Just the girl you couldn't let go of.... You can't have us both, it's a cold hard shame that you lasted so long keeping us both tied around your finger. Even when i knew, i didn't want to. I was way happier being blind. You were the light in my dark and now i can't even see my hand waving in front of my face. I run to anyone willing to give me attention and what do i get? nothing. I get nothing. Guys don't want me, not even as friends. I'm too, too i don't know. I just want to feel loved again. This whole being alone things sucks. But what sucks the most is not being able to remember how the hell i lived before i had met you. Before i had lost myself in you. Who am I isn't the question, It's who was I? And who has she become.... I handed you a knife and my heart and now the dream is over. How could i be so blind? i guess i fell in love to quickly. but i'm fiiiiiiiiine..... Yeah i went there Alesana lyrics are still fitting for us. That's our god damn band and always will be. Someday, i'll rip your damn shirt off her body and give it back to you. Fuck that shit. It kills me that you'd even let her have it. Did it really mean that little to you? I rather your parents throw it out than her fuckin have it. I gave it to YOU. if i can't have it, and you can't have it ANYONE anyone else should have it. And let's not even go into her running around using your last time. Ha fucking ha. I'm done ranting. i could go into so much more but i'm going to regret this enough already. So let's not and say we did. Calling it a day. Or well night.
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