5:10 am... as i lay here fearing sleep.. can't even picture myself counting sheep.

my room, dark black
these nightmares just keep coming back
why won't the universe just cut me some slack
my past, won't leave me
these thoughts oh how they deceve me 
I need someone, or something to free me
with all of the pain
 the regret makes me insane
my eyes, wet
the reasons why, I'll never forget
my words, cunning 
mind running, 
as my eyes reflect, with nobody around to even detect. 
i feel so small and usless like an insect. 
on each breath, I'm choking 
with every tear my bed ends up soaking. 

i wish he was here to save me from this,
 to fill my heart with bliss. 
to put and end to all of this. 
maybe these are a sign,
but i rather not see them, 
i rather go through life blind. 
sometimes not knowing is better than this showing. 

my mind just keeps going and going
. never ending thoughts never ending nightmares. 

nothing can stop this not even my prayers. 
praying to something that doesn't exist,
 i'd give anything for him to come hold me to bring back that bliss.
 i'd give anything to put and end to this. 
anything to save me from this.