And it took nearly loosing my best friend and a conversation with my supposed to be ex boyfriend to finally start to realize this. I can't keep waiting around expecting things to just change themselves because i said so. No I've got to get out and just do it. The time is now, To nut up or shut up.
I've gotta get out there and stat living my life. I'm tired, I'm tired of being here. I want out of this mindset. I want out of this life. And there's no time like the now to start working on bettering myself. If i want to feel alive again this must be done. It is time to take the good with the bad suck it up and take control of my life. Because after all i'm the only one who can do this. I'm the only one who can fix myself and change my life.
BUT I'M SCARED. i don't like being the one in charge of my life? And yet i'm the only one who really can control it.. I don't understand my logic on this... Like at all. But whatever. I just know that things need to change because my birthday's creeping up again.. And all i can think about is how I swore last year that things would change. And all that's happened was a big downward spiral into hell. A hell which i'm living in. And am stuck in...
It's time to get it together and crawl out.
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