Number Uno, The heart wants what it wants. Regardless of what anyone says and regardless of what the brain thinks. My mind hasn't been a prettiest of places lately I've been over thinking which leads to even more over thinking. Which then leads to trouble.
I left him, i finally did what i thought was best took a stand realized i was worth something and left.. But then, Oh then.. He made me realize that he was the one that made me realize i was worth something to begin with in the first place.. He made me feel alive, so alive. and with that came emotions and feelings TOO MANY OF THEM if you ask me. I haven't been treated badly at all, He gives me all he can and i was stupid to say that wasn't good enough. Sure he says and does the stupidest things that often lead to me hurting... BUT HE'S A GUY... All of them are like that, and honestly if i'm gonna be hurt over stupid things i'd want them to be from him.. Because afterall he's the light in my dark and he's slowly but surely he's showing me how to live again. I just hope i don't end up regretting all of this someday... They always say first loves are the hardest to let go of... But who says i ever have to let go!?... Hoping i won't have too but that's just me being young and stupid wanting my fairy tale ending and shizz. Gotta change my mindset big time over the next few months or my paranoia and lifelessness will surely be the death of what's left of me... Ah now to cuddle the shirt i stole from him and drift asleep wishing it was easier.. wishing everything was easier... But then again things that come easy are never worth it in the end right!?.... Yeah
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