Today was Grrrrrreat! The first "great" day I've had in awhile Too...

And i owe it all to you<3 You obviously being my boyfriend.

the new Look on life i have lately surely seems to be working... I just hope it sticks....

and i hope this hits him too... So we can be happy, regardless of everything.

Anyway My day,
I was awoken at 8:13 am as usual well the old usual anyway. Because as of late things have been a bit different sadly. Things have been hard on me. But things have been even harder on him. So i'd say today was needed for the both of us. He did his best to text me through out  the day when he could. and I in return woke up and stayed awake for him. Also got things done for once and by things i don't mean important things really but hey at least it's a start. And a good one at that. He really is what makes me happy, Even if things get hard, even if i can't see him for awhile, even if i don't get showered in presents and go on crazy dates... I know those things will come someday. And by waiting and sticking this out all of it will mean more then anyway.

Who's to say relationships are defined by the gifts and the dates and the things. None of that really matters in the end, Does it? What matters what really really matters is that what we have is worth holding on to through the good the bad and the ugly. Sure it's a little soon to be having as many problems as we've had but hell LIFE HAPPENS. Some things from the past just can't be avoided and i get that. He deserves me he really does<3 I can't even begin to fathom how much I've come to realize he means to me. I just wish i was better at showing it.

I make jokes and i act like i don't really care.... But i do Oh i do. I've never been one for admitting or showing things  So obviously i'm gonna shrug it off when people ask about him. I wish i could list all of the wonderful things instead of always being "Oh he won't be around for awhile"
"Oh he's such a girl" "Oh he's so damn frustrating blahBlahBlah... I don't know why i get like this and do and say these thing but oh you better believe it i'm gonna stop.

He's mine, HE'S MY BOYFRIEND he has been. And although i may not act like it often I'm head over hells in love with him and i hope he sticks around for an awfully long time. Forever even. It's sad that i have troubles even posting photos of us anymore... I have trouble admitting to people that i really do love him I just wish i knew why i was this way.. But then again i wish that about a lot of things ~Siiiighs~! i just still can't help but hope everyone's wrong about you. If only i could make them see you how i see you my dear.
although i'm still so filled with fear, that they're right about you. oh please don't let it be true. Because i i i i love you...